The script has been altered slightly; the play now ends with Archie being ushered through the gates at an airport as opposed to him collapsing. This was done as I was told the original ending was dissatifying and the story lost its sence of justice, which after consideration seems a fair point.
Slow
Train
A
play for radio
by
James
Law
Dylan
Mackie
Campbell
Logan
Liam
Hutchinson
Scene
1
Archie
is in a busy airport looking at flights contemplating where he wants
to go
F/X: Crowd
noises, airplanes flying overhead
archie
(thought): Whur tae go, whur tae go… A new life… The world’s ma
oyster! I hink um gonna go for Austrailia. Aye Austrailia, that’s
whur am headin, Chrissie wulda ne’er huv gone for that. Ahh
Crissie,
(PAUSE)
It
wasnae like a ment tae dae her ony ill.
F/X: Loud
Train Pans across the stereo image, blowing its horn
END
Scene
2
Crissie,
Archie, Alan and carrie are having a meal in burger king in the train
station before departure
F/X: train
station ambience, people talking & WALKING, trays and cups
hitting the table can be heard in the background
CHRISSIE:
Ma burgurs cauld, we shulda went tae the café over there, ye never
listen Archie neither ye dae!
CARRIE: Mines
awright maw, stop yer whinging.
Chrissie: Dinna
ye taak tae me like that, Archie, Archie you gonna let her taak tae
me like that?
CARRIE:
Dinna bring Da intae this!
ALAN: That’s
enuff yous two! Let us eat in peace, yous are aaways bikering!
CHRISSIE
: Dinna you start noo an aa! Av hud it up tae here wi you!
ARCHIE: Please,
Please were awa oan oor holidays, jus stop!
CHRISSIE:
Some husband you are! Let these treat me like dirt!
CARRIE:
Dirt? Aa you ever dae is gie us aa grief!
ALAN:
Carrie jus leave it.
CARRIE: Aye
a wull leave it, am off! Da enjoy yer holiday, see ya later Alan!
F/X: Carrie
Gets up
archie: please
love, wil ye no jus stay? We dinna get much chance to see each other
onymore..
CARRIE: (HESITANT)
Aye awrite Da.
F/X: cARRIE
sITS DOWN
(PAUSE)
CHRISSIE: (SARCASTICLY)
Mibbe we’d see mair o them if they dinna live half way across the
country..
CARRIE: Aye
an its still nae far enough fae you!
CHRISSIE: (ANGRILY)
So that’s why ye moved then aye! Efter aa av done for you ower the
years, an ye’l no even bring yer bairns tae see thur granny!
CARRIE: (SHOUTING)
Whit hae ye done apart fae drive us aa roun the bend eh! I wudnae let
ma wains onywhere near ye, yer poison! If it wisnae fur ma Da I’d
be done wi ye a long time ago!
CHRISSIE: (SHOUTING)
Aye wull, if a ken’t how you’d turn out I’da got rid o ye as
soon as the doctor telt me I was pregnant! Ye’v nae respect fur
naebody!
ARCHIE: (PLEADING)
Cun ye baith stop please!
CARRIE: Am
sorry Da a gotta go I canny be roun her another meenit.
F/X: CARRIE
GETS UP AND LEAVES, CHAIR SCRATCHING THE FLOOR & FOOTSTEPS
ARCHIE: Bye
darlin.
CHRISSIE: Aye
and good riddance!
(PAUSE)
Ungrateful
wee boot.. that’s you spoilin her aa her life Archie! Nae a bit of
decency in her.
ARCHIE: (SHEEPISHLY)
Ye didnae need tae say aa that ye ken.
CHRISSIE: An
um suppose tae let tha wee midden taak tae me like tha um a?
ALAN: C’mon
Maw.. lets jus forget aboot it.
CHRISSIE: You
wheesht, yer jus as bad, ye never come tae see me onymore either.
(AWKWARD
PAUSE)
ALAN: So,
eh, whats yer plans fur yer holidays Da?
ARCHIE: Well,
I wus thinkin…….
CHRISSIE: Wit
ye think he’s gonnie dae? He never does onything! Never takes me
onywhere! Jus sits there moanin!
ALAN: Come
on maw, gie da a break….
CHRISSIE: Gie
him a break?! He never gies me a break! Nane of ye’s dae!
(PAUSE)
ALAN:
Oh, look at the time, ye better hurry if you want tae make it tae
the shop.
ARCHIE: O.K
son, thanks for seein us aff, safe journey hame.
ALAN: Right,yous
huv a good holiday, Bye maw, bye pa.
ARCHIE: Bye
son!
CHRISSIE: Hmph!
END
Scene
3
Archie
and chrissie are in wh smith
F/X: cROWD
NOISES, CHECKOUT BEEPING BAGS GETTING PACKED ETC
ARCHIE: Dae
ye want some sweeties fur the trip?
CRISSIE:
We’re jus after eatin, yer aye thinkn aboot yer stomach!
ARCHIE: Jus
gies peace wumman, ye’ve been naggin aw day, noo dae ye want
something fur the train or naw?
CHRISSIE: Aye!
Get me some humbugs!
(PAUSE)
ARCHIE:
Excuse me son, dae ye huv ony humbugs?
SHOP
ASSISTANT: Sorry sir, were out I’m afraid.
CHRISSIE: Whit
dya mean yer oot?! Wit kinda shop is this?!
SHOP
ASSISTANT: I’m sorry madam we’re due a delivery.
CHRISSIE: Don’t
ye madam me sonny! Av hauf a mind tae come back there and……
ARCHIE: Chrissie!
CHRISSIE: Wit?
Ye hear the cheek he’s giein me?
ARCHIE: Cun
ye jus pick sumthin afore we miss oor train.
CHRISSIE: If
ye jus stop hasslin me fur a meenit a wul!
(PAUSE)
ARCHIE: Dae
ye want sumthin tae read?
CHRISSIE: ehh..
Aye I’ll get ma weekly.
(PAUSE)
(RAISED
VOICE) Here you, useless! Whurs the Weekly Woman?!
SHOP
ASSISTANT: (RELUCTANTLY) Just there to the left of you.
(PAUSE)
CHRISSIE: I dinnie see
it, cum an get it fur me.
ARCHIE: Fur
gods sake wud ye speak to the boy properly.
CHRISSIE: Dinnie
you tell me how tae taak tae people Archie!
ARCHIE:
Right enough of this, were leavin!
CHRISSIE: Fine!
A wuldnae gie these a penny onyway!
ARCHIE: Sorry
son.
SHOP
ASSISTANT: Don’t worry about it pal.
END
Scene
4
Archie
and chrissie are waiting on the platform for the train
F/X: Train
station ambience, crowd and train noises, Archie can be heard pacing
up and down the platform
CHRISSIE: Whurs
this train it was meent tae be here 10 minutes ago.
(PAUSE)
These
trains are aye late arnt they? Archie?! Archie?! Are ye listenin? Ye
never listen tae me!
ARCHIE: For
Christ sake Chrissie, gie it a rest. The train will come when it
comes.
CHRISSIE: Ye
never agree I micht be rich, aye takin me doon, never think about
what your dain tae ma confidence.
ARCHIE: (Sighs)
CHRISSIE: Wit
ye huffin at eh?!
ARCHIE: Nuthin
Chrissie, Nuthin.
F/X: train
heard pulling in
CHRISSIE: Heres
the train noo, bout time tae.
END
Scene
5
archie
and chrissie are on the train. the conducter is working his way up
the carraige
F/X: Train
(not moving) Ambience. people walking along the carriage and taking
their seats. the ticket inspector is heard coming along the carriage.
CHRISSIE: Archie
Um hayin the windae seat!
ARCHIE:
OK.
CHRISSIE: Um
no sittin near aw these strange folk. The smell o them gies me the
boke!
ARCHIE: Enough
Chrissie keep yer voice dow..
CHRISSIE: Dinna
ye raise yer voice at me Archie!
(PAUSE)
Theres
nae leg room aboot these seats… A hate travellin so a dae! Ye ken
that Archie! Why dae ye huv tae drag me away oan holiday, we wur
happy enough at hame….. Aye, just you keep readin yer paper Archie!
I’ll jus taak tae masel wull a?
CONDUCTOR:
Tickets please.
ARCHIE:
Here you are son.
CONDUCTOR:
Sorry sir these aren’t first class tickets.
ARCHIE: Eh?
There must be a mistake I’m sure a said first class tae the lad at
the station.
CONDUCTOR: I’m
sorry sir these are definitely standard.
CHRISSIE: Archie
ye eejit, ye’ve muckd up the tickets!
ARCHIE: Can
you gie me a minute tae sort this out.
CHRISSIE: Ye
shuda sorted this out properly before we got oan. Im no movin, theres
nae enough room as it is.
CONDUCTOR: These
seats aren’t reserved, would ye like to upgrade?
ARCHIE: Thanks
son. How much extra is it?
CONDUCTOR: It
is…….. another £32.
CHRISSIE: (ANGRILY)
Wit?! £32?! That’s a disgrace, ye should be ashamed o yersel
chargin that.
CONDUCTOR: Sorry
but that’s the price, I don’t make the rules.
CHRISSIE: (AGRESSIVLY)
Ye ken wur pensioners?! How d’ye hink we can afford aa that? Ye sud
huv a balaclava oan.
ARCHIE: Chrissie,
please.
CONDUCTOR: I’m
sorry, there’s nothing I can do.
CHRISSIE: Aye
yer useless so ye are!
ARCHIE: Chrissie!
Enough!
CONDUCTOR: (SNAPS)
Excuse me! Anymore of that and yer off!
F/X: aRCHIE
PULLS OUT HIS WALLET AND TAKES MONEY FROM IT
ARCHIE: (PLEADING)
No, please son, um sorry about her, heres the extra.
CONDUCTOR: Thank
you… There’s your change.
ARCHIE: Thank
you.
F/X: CONDUCTER
CONTINUES DOWN THE CARRIAGE
CHRISSIE:
(SARCASTICLY) Yer sorry aboot her are ye?! Yer spineless so ye ur!
Caw yersel a man Archie?!
ARCHIE: For
God’s sake wumman, gies peace!
CHRISSIE: Hows
about stickin up fur yer wife fur a change eh!
(PAUSE)
I
dinna ken how a merried ye onyway! Certainly wusnae fur yer looks.
ARCHIE: (SIGHS)
F/X: TRAIN
LEAVES STATION (PANNED across THE STEREO IMAGE)
END
Scene
6
Archie
and chrissie ARE on the train THE TRAIN PULLS IN DALMENY BEFORE
SETTING OFF AGAIN
F/X: tRAIN
COMES IN FROM THE LEFT OF THE STEREO IMAGE. CUT TO ONBOARD TRAIN
AMBIENCE. tRAIN STOPS SHORTLY AFTER TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT. aRCHIE CN BE
HEARD FLICKING THROUGH HIS PAPER
TRAIN
TANNOY: We are now approaching Dalmeny, would all passengers please
mind the step when alighting from this train.
CHRISSIE: (MOANS)Och
this is the slow train Archie! How’d ye book this one ya auld erse!
ARCHIE: I
didnae ken it wus the slow train, um sorry.
CHRISSIE: Ye
dinnie ken nuthin Archie, we’l be oan this fur oors. I’ll be deed
afore we get tae Dundee!
ARCHIE: Stop
weengin Chrissie, wul get there whun we get there.
CHRISSIE: (SHOUTS)Dinna
tell me tae stop weengin, this is your fault Archie! Yer the smart
arse that got the wrang ticket fur the wrang train! Theres nae way I
cun sit oan this train fur twa oors! Nae way!
ARCHIE: (SARCASTICLY)
Wull we jus go hame noo then?
CHRISSIE: Aye!
Lets get aff!
ARCHIE: (FED
UP) Och awa wae yi.
CHRISSIE: This’ll
be the last time I go onywhur wae you, I’ll tell ye that!
F/X: Train
LEAVES THE STATION AND MOVES TO THE RIGHT OF THE STEREO field BEFORE
FADING OUT
END
Scene
7
Archie
and chrissie ARE STILL on the train THERE IS A REFRESHMENTS TROLLY
COMING DOWN THE CARRIAGE
F/X: ON
BOARD TRAIN AMBIENCE, TROLLY BEING PUSHED DOWN THE CARRIAGE
ARCHIE: Crissie,
luk at them oot thur, mind the day we took the bairns…
CHRISSIE: (Interrupts)
Dinna waste yer breath Archie…
ARCHIE
: (SIGHS)
(PAUSE)
TRAIN
WORKER: (Adlibbing In background)
ARCHIE: Dae
ye want a drink?
CHRISSIE: (SARCASTLICLY)
Aff that brown boy? I dinna hink so.
ARCHIE: (STERN
RAISED VOICE) Chrissie!! We got a long way to go. Now dae ye want
onything or no?
CHRISSIE: Aye
well I could dae wi a wee drink but, och I dinna ken, tea maybe, er
no coffee, aye coffee. Mind nae cream, skimmed milk and one sugar,
jist one sugar.
TRAIN
WORKER: Hi can I get you anything?
ARCHIE: Aye,
cun I get a tea and a coffee please, milk and one sugar son.
CHRISSIE: Make
sure its skimmed milk Archie!
ARCHIE: Skimmed
milk please son.
TRAIN
WORKER: Sorry I've only got semi skimmed.
CHRISSIE: That's
no good enough! Wul dae without.
ARCHIE: Wul
ye no just taak it?
CHRISSIE: No,
I'll no
ARCHIE: Just
the tea then please son.
F/X: TRAIN
WORKER POURS THE TEA
CHRISSIE: (Under
her breath) They come to this country, take aa the jobs an canny
even dae them richt.
TRAIN
WORKER: (SHOKED) Excuse me?
ARCHIE: (RAISED
VOICE) Jesus Chrissie, enough of that!
CHRISSIE: Wit?
ARCHIE: Leave
the boy alaine, he's dain his job!
CHRISSIE: (SARCASTICLY)
Oh, its good tae see that coloured folks have the same richts as us.
TRAIN
WORKER: Here you, I'm from Glasgow actually, an am no havin you
speak tae me like that!
ARCHIE: (ANGRY)
Chrissie, shut yer trap, now!
CHRISSIE: Your
gonna let one of them taak tae me like that?
TRAIN
WORKER: (ANGRY) Ye can stick your coffee ya old bint!
F/X: TRAIN
WORKER WALKS OFF
ARCHIE: (GETTING
WOUND UP)Your a disgrace wumman! He wis..
CHRISSE: (INTERRUPTS)
He's never fur Glasgow wi a face like that!
ARCHIE: (SNAPS)
That's it! a’ve hud it up tae here wi you wumman, yer
constant lip, weengin at a'body and a'thing. Y'ell gee me a
heart attack so ye wul! A soon as we get aff this train am aff,
am gone wioot ye, dae ye hear me Chrisse
(PAUSE)
ARCHIE: Chrissie...Chrissie!...
(PAUSE)
ARCHIE: (QUIETLY)
Oh god...(SIGHS)
END
Scene
8
Archie
IS IN THE AIRPORT gate
F/X: AIRPORT
AMBIENCE, CROWD NOISE, PLANES HEARD FLYING. WHILE ARCHIE IS THINKNG A
LOW PASS FILTRE IS IN PLACE DULLING ALL OTHER SOUNDS
ARCHIE:
(THOUGHT) She wus sitting wi her een wide open. Her jaw had
drapped doon like she had jist gotten oot the last word. Her tongue
wis hingin oot the side o her mou and her skin had a blue tinge tae
it.
(PAUSE)
Nae
a bit o breath, I couldnae believe it – deid – jist like that.
Chrissie, deid wothoot a word o complaint.
(PAUSE)
(MIMICING
CHRISSIE) 'Want tae go wi dignity.' That had always been
Chrissie's cry. I widnae say that deein on a slow train tae
Dundee wis exactly dignified, but it wis a fittin end of
Chrissie.
(LONG
SIGH)
I
began tae think aboot aathin I wid hae tae dae, aa the forms tae
fill in, the undertaker, the biled ham and sausage rolls; it
didnae seem worth it. The mair I thocht the mair a waste o money
it grew tae be. This on tap o aathing she had
ARCHIE/CONT’D
OVER
ARCHIE(CONT’D): cost
me ower the years, no tae mention the emotional sufferin o daein
the messages for a quarter o a century.
(PAUSE)
I
lookit roon but naebody wis peyin attention, efter aa, aabody
had had enough o her.
(PAUSE)
I
whipped aff her rings and the gowd chain she wore roon her neck
and pit her handbag in my rucksack. I closed her eyes and turned
her heid so she wis leanin agin the gless.
(PAUSE)
I
had often dreamed aboot leavin her but no quite like this. I
gae her a peck on her chowk jist tae lat her ken I bode her nae
ill-will.
(PAUSE)
I
reckoned I had aboot twa oors afore they noticed she wis deid.
Time for me tae get a taxi, empty the bank account and get tae
the airport.
(PAUSE)
An
here a um on ma way tae Austrailia. Free.
F/X: LOW
PASS FILTER REDUCED AS AIRPORT SECURITY SPEAKS
AIRPORT
SECURITY: Sir... Excuse me sir!
ARCHIE: (WORRIED)
Eh??
(PAUSE)
AIRPORT
SECURITY: Ye dropped your bag.
ARCHIE: (STUTTERING)
Oh, thank you son.
F/X:
ARCHIE WALKS TO THE BOARDING DESK
AIRPORT
STAFF: Good afternoon sir, can I see your boarding pass please.
ARCHIE: Aye,
there you go.
AIRPORT
STAFF: That’s great, if you just make your way through the gate.
F/X:
AUDIO FADES OUT THROUGH FINAL LINE.
END
